“err… I go to the beach a lot?”

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I keep getting text messages from friends that I went to school with asking me what I’ve been up to…

I wish I could tell them that I’m doing fabulous, working for a non-profit in the city, living in a cute studio above a coffee shop, and altogether being independent and wonderful.
Unfortunately, My response is always “well I’m living at home, taking care of the family dog, blowing my graduation money on beach trips, and desperately searching for jobs to the point of applying at the mall”
My typically negative comments make them laugh and remember why they love me and I “lol” right along with them. BUT ON THE INSIDE I AM SCREAMING.
I am so unhappy with where I am in my life right now it’s not even funny.
I’m 23.
I sleep til 10!
I need a job.
And I really really really need a car.
And I really really really need an apartment.
And I really really really want a puppy. (this is irresponsible, I know)

When I re-read what I just wrote above, I get mad at myself.
I AM BEING SO SINFUL.
I know that this time of discontentment is only temporary.
I TRUST that God has something amazing for me.
He pushed me to follow this career path and I know that wherever I end up will be just where I’m supposed to be.
Even right now, God has put me in this jobless rut for a reason.
School was really stressful!
Maybe I should be reveling in this time of relaxation because my next task from God is going to be exhausting and I’ll need this rejuvenation to serve people better so I don’t burn out?
I don’t know what He has planned but I know that worrying and questioning Him isn’t right.

  Well now that I’ve just scolded myself for all of you to see
I’m going to continue sending my resume EVERYWHERE
and trust that the right agency will call me in time.
I will enjoy this time of rest, thanking God for every moment that I am able to sit by the bay petting my dog and chatting with my Mother.
I will do my best to learn to trust Gods timing.
“Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God” Philippians  4:6

xoxox Lynn

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